The following was written in response to Anonymous Legacy's Visual Dare #26. It is 124 words and took me roughly 40 minutes in five-minute bursts because of my reluctant sleeper. I hope it's coherent. I am an eager sleeper with too few opportunities.
Rivulets
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The sunrise crept up her nose and tickled her eyelids too
early in the summer. After so many mornings staring at the ceiling, she had
identified a dog, a tree, a face, and a pigeon in the plaster’s rough texture.
The face was old with deep ditches for wrinkles. If a person like that cried, would the tears dry up as they followed
that winding valley? she wondered. Her eyes relaxed and blurred, making the
images seem clearer and more detailed. She yawned deeply and closed her eyes. If
she fell back asleep, sometimes she dreamed that the face was telling her about
hard work and the sorrow of missing teeth. A tiny drop of water, almost
imperceptible, landed just above her left eyebrow.
I love comments. If you have a second, I'd love to know what you thought of this bit of flash fiction, whether or not you enjoy Neopolitan ice cream, or what your favorite Calypso song is.
I love comments. If you have a second, I'd love to know what you thought of this bit of flash fiction, whether or not you enjoy Neopolitan ice cream, or what your favorite Calypso song is.
A fine tale, makes one wonder what the narrator's greater story in the scheme of things is.
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely :-) I've read it twice over. Very sensuous.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for reading and commenting! I
ReplyDeletefound myself wanting to make this into a longer work, as I often do with flash. Expanding these little bursts may be a future project.
I would love to see you make this longer. The textural details are exquisite. Beautifully crafted. :)
ReplyDeleteI adored this- the imagery you have created - this line especially - If a person like that cried, would the tears dry up as they followed that winding valley?- Very well penned Heather.
ReplyDeleteOh, thank you! I keep thinking about this one and how it could be the beginning of something longer and really fun to write. I do hope to take these snippets and turn them into short stories. Perhaps when the babe is a little older I'll get my attention span back. :-)
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