Thursday, June 6, 2013

Another Time, Maybe

Another Visual Dare from Anonymous Legacy. This one came in at 177. That's twenty-seven words over the limit. I'm fixin' to get a flash fiction ticket! Someone take away my creative license!

...But seriously, I'm working on very little sleep (isn't that obvious?) and I just don't have the whittling skills or time this week to get it down to 150. I hope you like it anyway. Feel free to skip over 27 words.

Another Time, Maybe

photo credit
She preferred the ones with people--boys wearing short pants outside a church, men in t-shirts leaning against cars, or babies in layers of lace. This one was just an ornate room with long tables and benches under chandeliers and elaborate carvings. No people at all. On the back, "Another time, maybe" was written without ending punctuation on the left. No stamp. No postmark. A small water stain. She pressed it discreetly to her nose. Musty with a hint of artificial gardenia.

"We found the creamer that matches the sugar bowl you bought a while back."

Ina turned toward the shopkeeper and said sheepishly, "I dropped it. Arthritis.”

"In that case, you'd better stick to paper," he muttered.

"Just this, then." She held up the postcard.

"Damaged," he said squinting. "And sort of boring." 

"It’s perfect," She smiled.

He rolled his eyes. "Take it."

She nodded her gratitude and exited the shop. Outside, she reached into her purse and touched the creamer, nestled safely in an embroidered napkin, as she dropped the card carelessly onto the sidewalk.

As always, I can be found on Twitter @gardenofedits or Facebook (Garden of Edits). I love comments,    
knock-knock jokes, and pictures of bears.


  1. HA. Wow. This is so subtle, it took me a full read to comprehend that this is a practiced shoplifter in motion!! Great work! I think we can overlook the extra 27 words. :) Thanks for a well-crafted VisDare!!

  2. I also didn't catch it first read.. Very clever..x

  3. A clever thief! I like how you didn't come out and say she had stolen it, but wove the action into the story, as crafty as the shopper.